let's say the bar is set at "adequate," and most are disappointing me.
and the spite and the loneliness and the shame return.
on the noises sounding in my head: why am I so bad at life? why haven't/can't I attract awesome people in my life? am I pushing people away? where do I need to try harder? do I need to be more proactive? I think the genial aloofness MO isn't paying dividends. do I have unrealistic expectations? do other people get lonely? how did I get this far in life without ever having a proper best friend?
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