Saturday, July 16, 2011

give 'em the ol' (blog-y) razzle dazzle

let me help you write a "profound" or "courageous" blog:

1. choose a point of liberal or humanitarian or christian dogma that you want to restate by metaphor. (if you can think of no moral to communicate, just fall back on "appreciate the little things in life.")

2. pick something mundane or someone insignificant or something from nature like a tree branch that you want rhapsodize, perhaps lift to the heavens. a cup of coffee, the woman who empties your trash at work, some acorns, for example. but don't lose focus; it's not about the object. the narrator is the most important thing in this story. remember, this a neo-transcendentalist exercise and your aim is to demonstrate how sensitive and perceptive you are.

3. you should probably swear. this makes you gritty, makes you real. if you are a christian, your swear-y shibboleth will let others know that, while a christian, you are not one of those christians. the same can be accomplished with gratuitous talk of sex or drinking. 

4. if at all possible, you should narrow your audience to the young--for it is usually the young who are likely to appreciate description for description's sake and who, when it comes to radical or transgressive morality, are still impressed that the wider world is broader and more dynamic than the world of their childhoods and who still desire flattery for their newfound broadmindedness.

5. stay away from ideas; this is about feelings. pay lip service to insight, but remember to focus your efforts on narcissistic self-exposure. may your audience reflect back to you your exaggerated self-image. let the comments field be a cast net and may the encouragements of your friends feed you for a few more days.

(written to myself, as much as anyone else)