my excuses for not dating

-I’m a terrible driver

One turn in the wrong direction down a one-way street or one running of a red light and s/he’s gonna wish s/he stayed home to study. I also get lost, hopelessly, hopelessly, a-new-10-minute-drive-takes-me-30-minutes, lost.

-$20 Movie Tickets

 It’s only $10 when I’m single.

-Ratio Problems

 50/50: you talk/me talk. A conversation is not your consecutive responses to 10 of my questions.

-Sports

I will not play football with your brother. I’ve never watched ESPN; I have no idea what you’re dad is talking about.

-I like my alone time 

My ideal weekend is one spent in my underwear…alone, at home and accompanied by my programs, an ice machine, and limitless diet soda.


-If only I could still wear a bib
 
Have you ever seen me eat a burrito? Imagine a mitten-wearing Helen Keller at Santanas. 

but if those aren't a problem (I will yield to pre-feminist/egalitarian tradition on the movie tickets, though)...send me your number!